The day after a school's event, attended by our parents too, a classmate told me, with obvious malice, that his father had commented on me. That he considered me the prettiest girl of our class!
I didn't tell him that he'd made my day.
(I had long smooth hair at twelve, but certainly wore unisex clothes, probably jeans and sneakers.)
i'll bet you would have loved to have been daddy's girl...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, and how I would!
ReplyDeleteThat would be the answer, keeping in the fun fantasy register in which I began this blog.
But seriously? - No! Not in the world!
(I know I am spoiling it for most of you, by getting serious. But, alas, it's my blog!)
When I recently told that story to a couple of friends of mine, their reaction was: That pedophile pig!
I wouldn't be so harsh on that man. It's no crime to have pedophile tendencies, if you don't act on it.
It is interesting, though, to speculate on his motives. Did he really take me for a girl?
Or did he "read" me? If he knew very well I was a boy, but had no suspicion of my inclinations, then his comment was malicious, like his son's transmission of it to me was. But if he suspected - rightly - what kind of boy I was, then his comment was a rather nice thing to make, wasn't it?
I do wish you'd tried harder on this one. Maybe you can come back to it another day?
ReplyDeleteWhoa! You want me to make things up?!
ReplyDeleteIt was just this. End of story.
This post was just to be another comment in our thread of "when I was eleven", but then I decided - vanity, vanity! - to give it more visibility. Only the anonymous comment here led me then to find something more to say about it.
But perhaps you're right, I might expand on what a pretty boy I was at that age and what little advantage I took of it.
Yet I don't know if I'll do it. I feel a bit uneasy with this childhood confessions. Couldn't it get me into trouble, being accused of producing pedophile content?
The context of this blog - straightforward porn - doesn't help either.
Forgive me for not believing you. YOU may believe you. I know better.
ReplyDelete"He made my day." A complete cop out. You remember this story because it made you feel something. Why was the boy malicious? Was that what charged you? That he told you his dad thought you were a girl because it gave him power and dominance over you? Made you want to submit to your classmate as a girl? Become his girlfriend?
I can't give you any legal advice, but I wouldn't think the expression of childhood experiences and the awaking of sexuality to be pedi-porn. I'm with you on that one. Even the idea of adult girls and adult gurls who refer to their man as "daddy" leaves me cold. There's nothing sexy about child abuse.
But the innocent awaking? Formative experiences? How we got here? Boys and girls being boys and girls with boys and girls and girls and boys and boys? Seems legit to me.
Particularly here. You said, that's it. End of story. So obviously nothing sexual happened but somehow I suspect in your young brain there was more.
Have you stumbled on my story about "feeling like a girl?" I was being sexual at a very young age but really had no clue; however at the same time it was connected to females, and perhaps critically my experiencing the sex "like a girl."
Sometimes I think they go too far "protecting" kids. Kids need to be kids with other kids. Allowed to explore. Play doctor and all that stuff. I mean, look at me. All those things my older brother showed me. The magazines. The sexual talk. And I turned out. . .
OH!
Now I read your story. Everybody should read it.
ReplyDeleteSo much for now.
"Cop out." - I have no plan to tell everything to everybody. This blog is a toy. At times, if I feel like it, it might be a little more.
ReplyDeleteThe blog being mostly fictional is exactly the problem regarding the pedophilia-question. I make up sexy stories and in the middle I throw some sexy authentic childhood memories? How does that look? And how does that work for my public who mostly comes here to find something to get off on, and not to understand their lives better?
I absolutely agree that the understandable and welcome public preocupation about child-abuse - something that a couple of years ago did not seem to exist - has very bad side-effects. Child sexuality exists and should develop without too much adult control or restraint. I have a couple of older cousins, man and woman, who told me once that as four year olds, after they'd been told where the babies came from, actually tried to make one! Isn't that cute? And totally okay?
Pleasing your public. Fair enough. Doesn't change MY wish that you'd tried harder though.
ReplyDelete"Pleasing your public". That smells like deliberate misunderstanding. It's about NOT supplying the public what it could use as child porn!
ReplyDelete